Saturday, March 2, 2013

Reader Request: Marriage Tips

When this request was mentioned, I panicked a little.

It's not like Pete and I have a terrible marriage that's falling apart at the seams or we're only staying together for the kids. We are blessed with an awesome marriage, and even on the hardest most challenging days, we still wouldn't give it up for anything.

But there are days I have no idea how we ended up together or how we make it work. We are very different people with fairly opposite personalities.

He's into the sciences; I'm very artsy
He's quiet; I love lots of conversation
He's book smart; I'm full of random bits of useless information
He's fairly calm; I'm strong willed
He keeps his emotions close; I show little restraint in expressing mine!
He loves a rustic yet modern and minimalist look; I love a homey country primitive look when decorating
He likes minimal color; I love color in all aspects of life

So I'm sure you can see that no matter the situation, we're going to butt heads a bit. However, the one area we get it right most of the time is this: we make time.

And that's my bit of advice to anyone who wants to get married, is getting married, or is married for any length of time: Make Time.

Make time for pursuing interests together.
I married a golfer. Pete's not an every Saturday morning golfer, but he loves to golf a few times a year. I swore up and down when I was younger I'd never marry someone who golfed; it seemed like a ridiculous waste of time for me. But I learned to golf, and now I love it, too. I even have my own set of clubs (they're purple!). We only get to play together once or twice a year, but it's something we can do together. When we go to the mall, we like to check out new clubs that we'll never buy, or awesome golf balls (I like mine with characters on them or neon colors; drives Pete nuts!)

I like to garden. Pete, not so much. He likes to harvest the fruit and veggies, but the planning, setting up, and maintenance he could do without. However, because he knows it's important to me, he makes an effort to help. Last year he helped me work on weeding the rocks by our driveway and starting a new flower garden behind the house; even if it's not his favorite thing, it's time we can spend together. This year we're making a new flower garden for the kids (it's themed, I can't wait to share our idea with you!!!), and he's been really helpful and even enjoying choosing the flowers to go in it.

He helps me figure out concept designs for my paintings, I've learned to play some more involved board games (You know, ones that make you think. Totally not my strength.)

Find something you and your spouse can do together, and do it. It may not be your cup of tea, but the fact that you're trying to do something they like will speak volumes to them.

When I started writing this post, it was going on for miles and miles. I decided that instead of making this a one time only Reader Request post, I'm going to do a short series either every Monday or every other Monday for a few weeks. Making Time For Marriage Mondays will have a different marriage tip on things to make time for to help strengthen your relationship with your spouse. Don't forget to let me know if you have any special requests for blog topics!

What do you make time for in your relationships?

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