Endings, Beginnings, and Struggles

This year has brought about a lot of changes for me.

In February, after almost 7 years of babysitting out of my home, I handed in my resignation to all of the families I worked for, effective the end of the school year. It was a really difficult decision, full of emotions and stress. But my health was failing, I had so many demands that only I could meet, and with three kids in school the upcoming year, I was going to be needed more.

When I'm asked if I miss the babysitting, it's hard to find the right answer. I don't miss a lot of it, but I miss the kids so much. I miss the snuggles, the laughter, them growing. My house is so quiet now as it's just me and our pets during the day. But I'm able to focus more on my business during the day and be more available for the kids when they get home from school.

But it really is a struggle for me to get used to the new schedule.

A lot of people have been asking me how things are going, and I love the support I'm getting.

But there are some people who do a double take, who expect me to go out and get "a real job" now that I'm done babysitting and all three kids are in school. I then get the dreaded question:

"So, what do you do all day then?"

I never know how to answer. I'm sure they picture me sitting on my couch, watching tv and eating chocolate all day.

I usually stumble through a quick line about some project I'm working on, but what I really want to say is this:

I've been a mom for 10 1/2 years now, and a wife for almost 9. In all that time, I have not been a priority. Kids always need to be fed, diapers changed, protected, entertained. Husbands need to be fed, his clothes ready for work.

Please don't get me wrong, I love being a wife and mother.

But somewhere in all that time I lost myself.

If I didn't get a shower every day, or sometimes even every other day, that became the norm.

If I needed new clothes, I probably wouldn't get them because kids needed diapers or school supplies. And that became okay.

My life became sweatpants, frumpy hair, doing chores and errands for everyone else. Because their needs felt greater than my own.

I don't know how to take care of me without feeling guilty about it.

I have so many obligations for my business right now. Christmas is coming, so I need to get stock built up and in my Etsy store, promote my Christmas products, and work on commissions that will be gifts. I'm promoting the first book in the children's book series that I illustrated as well as starting work on book 2.

I'm volunteering for an hour every other week in Ryan's classroom by helping out with math. I just went with the kindergartners on my very first field trip this past week. My oldest two kids are in 4th and 5th grades, and I hadn't been on a field trip yet.

Mommy and Ry at the pumpkin patch!

I'm busy, so busy...doing important, wonderful things.

And when the house work doesn't get done, I'm the only one who seems bothered by it. I feel like I'm not serving my family the way they need, which is crazy. And yes, my husband and kids help out so much around here, so please don't think otherwise.

Last night, I gave myself a pep talk. I told myself that I was doing fine, I just had to get into my rhythm and adapt to the new schedule. I went to sleep, doubting that I'd be able to stay pumped up for today, figuring it would be another depressing day of not getting much done and feeling like I needed to scramble just to survive the day.

But this morning I woke up, ready to face the day.

My kids got on the bus at 7:30, and for an hour and a half I cleaned.

I didn't get everything done, but that was okay. The house looked so much better that it had been, and I could focus on work. I then sent out emails, I photographed products and listed them on Etsy. I wrote a blog post for my business blog, I took a long hot shower, and got caught up on laundry (6 loads were washed, folded, AND put away today! It's a miracle!).

Today wasn't perfect. My work stuff is still all over the coffee table, there are still crumbs on the counters, and the toilets weren't scrubbed.

But it was a better day. And tomorrow might not be a good day, but it's going to take time to build this habit of finding balance and finding me in this new stage of life.

Answering the "what do you do all day" question still isn't going to be easy, and that's okay. But it's not going to be a quick, shy answer anymore. I don't know what I'll say yet, but every day that passes, that answer will be more confident than the day before.


How are you guys doing? How do you balance everything in your life?

Financial Friday: How We Met Our Goal

After my post last Saturday about meeting our financial goals, I had a couple people ask how we did it.

The easy answer? Lots and lots of work.

But there was more to it than that working our butts off each and every day. Yes, you have to work in order to bring in money to achieve your goals, but what you do when the money is in your hand or account is important as well.

We made a budget and stuck to it.
At the end of every month, I make up the next month's budget. Ever Monday night when Pete has guy's night, I update it, pay bills, and make sure we're staying on track. One thing I do is I cheat with my budget. For example, if we're bringing in $2500 a month, I set my budget up for a smaller number, like $2000. It forces us to really pinch the pennies, and with me being a spender, if I see that money is tight, I'm less likely to make impulse purchases. That leaves us money left over each month to save. There are definitely months we go over that smaller amount, but we have a cushion. If I made the budget to the amount we're actually bringing in, I'd be putting money in categories and spending left and right. When emergencies come up (like having to buy a new heater for our basement), we wouldn't have that cushion and would have to either take out a loan or tap into our savings, depending on the situation.

We have an emergency fund...but rarely use it.
I got into a discussion with my mom a few weeks ago about this. Our heater in the basement had just died and I spent two hours trying to find room in our budget to pay for it. It was one of those months that our cushion was really small for the month (gotta love having to buy car tires unexpectedly!), so it was stressful finding the few hundred dollars to get a new heater. My mom's point was that we had an emergency fund, just go to the bank and get the money; she had a great point! My thought was that if I could find the money in our budget, I would do that instead. I'm afraid if we get in the habit of getting into the emergency account for things that can be considered emergencies but can swing in our budget, we'll (okay okay, it's definitely me not Pete) stop trying to use our budget and just rely on the emergency fund for things. It's happened to me before, so this is me trying to not repeat the past.

We gave more than ever before.
How this works, I don't know. God definitely tells us in the Bible to test him when it comes to giving. We've continued to tithe with Pete's paychecks, and for the first time ever we've been tithing at the end of every month on how much I brought in from babysitting and teaching preschool. We've given to charities, community members going through tough times, missionaries, and continue to support our radio station and our Compassion child every month. I will admit, there are definitely times where we would like to keep that money for things we need or would like. But seeing it impact other people is so rewarding!

We are cheap.
Okay, not in the sense like we don't tip our waiter as much as we should. But more in the sense that we don't need to go to the mall to buy new clothes; thrift stores have awesome clothes for a fraction of the price. Yes, if you're searching for something specific, it might not be the best option. For furniture, we shop Craigslist (who needs new furniture when you have little kids who will ruin it just by looking at it?). We still have a tiny non-flat screen TV. It's starting to die, but hey, it still works for what we need. We buy off brand items most of the time. We make the choice to live a simple life and only buy what we need and make do with what we have. We do still make some purchases that are brand name (I'm very picky about my tissues and toilet paper...), so there are things we still could be better at. I've heard stories about people who cut back so much they don't buy rolls for their hot dogs....yes, we could do that, but I like my carbs too much :)

And last but not least, we couldn't do it without God
I know some of my readers might not agree with this, but we truly feel like God has blessed us. We're trying to manage our money in a biblical fashion, and I hope God's pleased with what we're doing.

In the grand scheme of things, there is no formula, no tried and true steps for making and saving lots of money. There are definitely things that help, but not all things work for every person/family/situation. If we could choose, we wouldn't be working like this; Pete would be working at one school full time, and I wouldn't be babysitting this much. It's stressful and the sacrifices we're making are not easy. We're tired. We're getting burned out. But this is a short term thing for long term gain. We want our kids to be able to go to college with as little debt as possible, preferably no debt. We don't want to be swamped with debt payments each month. And we feel like these are the steps to take to get there.


What do you do to achieve your financial goals?

Happy 2013!

Happy New Year, everyone!

Our year is starting out not as expected, but in the grand scheme of things, we are so blessed. We all woke up tired and fairly cranky, then went out to run errands, and either the stores we wanted to go to were closed, or we forgot the gift card we needed to purchase things at the stores. We were able to get some things, and I'll go back tomorrow to get the big item (a new living room light) with the gift card. The kids refused to nap, so the crankiness has gotten worse.

But we have a warm house, food cooking for dinner, running water, clothes on our backs, and love to spare. I was also able to work on some projects today: cleaning up the basement, putting together an organizational system for the kids' school papers, and I made two American Girl sized silky blankets for Paige's best friend's birthday gift (they match the twin sized one I made her).

A lot of people make resolutions this time of year, and in years past, I've done that. I've fallen short every time, and all I do is get depressed. Last year we did something different and made a Family Bucket List. It worked pretty well; we crossed off about 80% of the things on our list, and we were okay with the ones we were unable to do.

So here's my bucket list for 2013:

- Tackle my book list. I started The Hobbit today and have finished the first paragraph. Not bad for a busy day!

- Hug more, yell less. When my kids are cranky and disobeying, it usually means something is bothering them. I tend to yell, only to find out later that they're not feeling well, they're tired, their best friend was mean, etc. After I give them a hug, they feel better and are ready to start listening again. Wouldn't life be easier if I just hugged in the first place?

- Date my husband. With our busy lives and trying to stick to a strict budget, going out on dates weekly or even monthly is difficult. In December we started implementing Date Night, where we would take turns planning one date night a week. It's been just movie nights so far as December was busy, but even just sitting next to each other on the couch with the phones and computers off was a great way for us to connect. Best part? It's free! I would still like to have at least six nights out with just Pete this year. Birthday/anniversary dinners can count towards this number :)

- Have family night once a month. We put this on our bucket list last year, and it worked pretty well. We tried to have game night once a month, and it didn't always work out. Some months were just crazier than others, so we'd have a movie night with a picnic dinner on the living room floor. Movie nights or game nights count towards this; any ideas of other things we can do?

- Finish The Magician's Nephew with Nate. We started this last summer and made it through the first three or four chapters. He's been asking me to read it again, so I'd like to finish it with him this year.

- Overcome one fear. I don't know which one yet; it might be touch a fish after I've caught it, remove a snake from my garden, or fly on an airplane. I really want to go visit my best friend in Florida, but I'm afraid to fly....I can't let that stand in my way!

- Redecorate our basement. The plan is set, now just have to tackle it! I'm thinking it'll be a summer project. We'll be repainting, finishing the stairs, hanging new curtains, putting up new art work, and making lots of new pillows.

- Launch my Etsy site, SEA Creations! I think this will also happen later in the year; I don't have time to fully devote to it right now.

- Teach Paigey how to ride a bike without training wheels. We were going to do this last summer, but never made the time. This year will be the year!!!!

- Exercise more...but more for health instead of weight loss. I tend to get frustrated after I've been exercising for a few weeks and quit because I'm not losing weight. I forget that having a healthy body is more important, and the weight loss is just an added bonus. Maybe changing my focus will help :)

- Be silly more often! I love being silly with my kids. I don't do it often enough, and laughter is the best medicine!


What are your goals for the year? May it be a blessed year for you and your family!

SAHM I Am

As you know, I'm a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM). I've been struggling lately, feeling like everything I do doesn't matter because it's just going to need to get done again either that day or the next. So I read a book by the infamous Dr. Laura called In Praise of Stay-at-Home-Moms.

I didn't know what to expect, because either people love or hate Dr. Laura, and I didn't know enough about her to make my own decision. I may not love everything she has to say, but man, I loved that book! I read it in less than two days, and my whole attitude just feels different about staying home. I feel like what I do matters, and that what I do will make such a difference for my family down the road.

With the book finished, I'm trying to arrange my priorities even more. I always tried to put my kids first, but lately I think I've been putting a clean house first, thinking that if my house is clean, the family will be happier. That's true to an extent, but if I'm cleaning so much that I miss out on the little moments with my family, I'm not accomplishing what I set out to do.

I started putting this into practice this morning. I put Mister W down for his mid morning nap, and then got on the floor with Ryan and Miss A to play cars. Normally they'll play well for awhile then start fighting, but there was no fighting at all! They were much happier, and I had so much fun playing and giggling along with them. I was so refreshed and happy that I didn't mind cleaning when they went down for their naps; my morning stress level was so much lower than normal I didn't need that time to recharge.

Tonight after dinner, I told Pete I would clean up because I had been baking all day and hadn't finished cleaning up from that. But the kids were dancing in the living room, and the dishes could wait, right? So we danced, and laughed, and the kids went to bed happy and loved. The dishes were still there later, and Pete and I took care of them together and were actually able to have a conversation together for the first time in days (it's amazing how life just gets disrupted when you have a sick kid!). Pete left for guy's night happy, and I'm able to enjoy some me time now, guilt free.

I'll be trying to compile a list of reasons why I love being a SAHM, and if you're a SAHM too, I'd love to hear what you love about it!

I love it because:

• I am the one to kiss all the boo-boos when they're hurt
• I get to see and experience all the 'firsts' - first steps, first smile, etc.
• I get to join in on all the impromptu dance fests

If there are any working moms out there, I completely respect your choice to work. Please don't feel like I'm bashing your choice at all; I worked for about a year or so before Pete and I got married, and it just wasn't for me. I couldn't concentrate on my job, and I was miserable because I knew I was missing out on so much. This is just me growing and learning more about myself, and hopefully encouraging others like me to see that what they do is important too :)


SAHMs, what do you love about being home with your kids? Let's encourage each other, especially as cold weather is coming and we'll be cooped up more!

Summer Recap: My To-Do List

A few weeks ago I posted my summer to-do list. If you remember, I was overwhelmed and burned out just by looking at it! Now that summer's over, what did we accomplish? Were we successful?

Here's our list, and what we were able to do:



Item #1: Refinish the kitchen counter tops.

So our counters were a pale green. They were in great condition, just not our color. We wanted a cheap fix as we're eventually planning on redoing our floor (white floor + kids + coal stove = big mess!), and would hate to do brand new counters and not have them match the floor. After a little bit of research we decided we were going to paint them!

Nice, just not our style.

We were successful! They are done!!!! They are NOT what we planned, but I think they're better and fit our space and style more than what we were originally going for. The plan was to use textured spray paint that had flecks of various colors in it so it would look like regular counter tops, then put 3-4 coats of poly on it to protect it and smooth out the texture. We bought 4 cans of spray paint; the cans said 3 would cover it, but hey, they were on sale and you never know, so we bought 4. Here's what 4 cans looked like:

Splotchy is not what we were going for!

 I don't know about you, but that is NOT very pretty. Or even. Or even remotely counter top like. So we went out to the store and bought regular cheap wall paint. In gray. We thought gray was going to look better than the original tan, and we think it's a much better fit!

Much better!

We've been asked how it's holding up and if we'd recommend it. It is holding up BEAUTIFULLY. The roller from putting in the paint on left a little bit of texture, which keeps things from sliding all over yet not too much texture you can't keep it clean. Would we recommend it? Possibly. If you're looking for a quick fix that's budget friendly, then yes! I think this cost less than $40, not including the original spray paint. For a long term thing, maybe. We've heard after awhile it will start to chip, and we're anticipating that. We do have to go over it with sandpaper one more time as dust and cat fur landed on it while the paint and poly were drying, but other than that, we're really pleased with how it turned out!


Item #2: Replace or fix the front side walk.

Successful again! Replacing the whole side walk was going to be very expensive, so we just patched the ginormous holes. We're planning on buying a sealer to make it all smooth, but it's not a priority at the moment.


Item #3: Replace or fix the front porch stairs.

I am SO glad I pushed to get this done this year! I could feel just by walking on them that they were ready to go. When Pete and his dad were taking them apart, they literally were falling apart. The finished product is so much sturdier, safer, and nicer to look at! Because it's pressure treated wood, we have to let it dry for a year or so until I can paint it. It's going to be a loooong year because seeing the mismatched wood is driving me nuts, but it's going to look great when we paint them. Instead of doing the red that's on the porch now, the stairs and floor will be gray and the railings and posts will be white.


Item #4: Refinish the dining room table top.

I so wish I could take credit for this. I really do. One of my readers actually took my table and refinished THE WHOLE TABLE. It is a beautiful piece of furniture now, and we are so blessed by the work they put into it. It really makes my dining room look much more finished! I'll post a picture once we get a new camera; ours is trying to die and just doesn't make the table look as gorgeous as it really is!




Item #5: Finish weeding the rocks by the driveway.

*sigh*...not done. But, it's mostly done, and what is finished looks great! We have the bigger rocks at the bottom to do, and once it gets cooler we'll finish it. It's on our fall to-do list!


Item #6: Finish putting in the flower garden by the driveway fence.

Another thing not accomplished. We need to go out and finish getting the pavers from my aunt, and once we do that I can cover up the grass so it'll die and be ready to plant in the spring.


Item #7: Finish the new garden around the pool.

Partially finished. The part I've been wanting to do since we moved into the house got planted, but the part I just thought about doing this year has not been done. Baby steps, right?


Item #8: Build the new bed and headboard for our bedroom.

Just need to buy the wood and screws, we have stain and poly out the wazoo. Maybe this fall or winter?

  
Item #9: Help the kids accomplish their summer goals.

Partially finished! Paigey got her books read, and Nate learned some sight words! Paige hasn't finished learning to ride her bike without training wheels, but that was more we were busy with other things, so it fell to a lower priority. We still have time this fall before the snow flies (or at least I can hope, right?)

 So all in all we didn't do too bad with our list. Everything was worked on at least a little bit. We got the really important things accomplished, and that's what really matters!


Have you been able to cross things off your list lately?

Overwhelmed: My to-do list

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the amount of things on your to-do list? I feel like I've been running a million miles a mile lately and instead of crossing things off my list, I'm adding to them.

Last week Nate came down with a stomach bug on Tuesday. He was better by the afternoon, but passed it on to me. I was down Wednesday and Thursday with it (why do kids only share germs?!?). Friday Pete got stung by a bee on the face, and as he's mildly allergic, he was out of commission that afternoon. Saturday morning I woke up with a bit of the stomach bug again, Paige was throwing up, Nate's allergies were all over the place, Pete's face was even more swollen, and Ryan had a nasty fever that didn't break until Sunday early afternoon. Thankfully we're all better (Pete's still slightly swollen, but it's improved greatly!), but I feel more behind than ever now.

My house is a disaster. I'm behind on creating decorations for our church's vacation Bible school (VBS) that is in 2 weeks. I have a birthday party to start planning. I have a house project list that's a mile long. My garden is full of weeds, and half of it needs replanting. Paige's room smells like pee and I can't get the smell out of it, which means we may have to replace the carpet in there.

My wonderful husband can see how stressed I am, so he took all three kids to swim lessons this morning so I could do whatever I wanted. I told him I was going to clean, and he said if I just wanted to sleep or watch a movie, I could do that instead. My goal is to get the dining room and kitchen done; for some reason those two rooms never get cleaned, just things dumped in them. I think if I can get those done while they're gone, I'll feel less stressed and can start tackling other things.

I'm starting to wonder if we'll get our project list completed this year. Every summer we try to take advantage of the time we have to get some projects done around the house. Last year included building frames for raised garden beds and painting the deck. This year's list is much longer and a bit more complicated:

• Refinish the kitchen counter tops.

• Replace or fix the front sidewalk.

• Replace or fix the front porch stairs.  
• Refinish the dining room table.

• Finish weeding the rocks by the driveway.  
• Finish putting in the flower garden by the driveway fence.

• Finish the new garden around the pool.

• Build the new bed and headboard for our bedroom.

• Help the kids accomplish their summer goals.

Some of it has to be done for safety reasons, others are things we're finally getting around to doing. We've narrowed the list down, and this final list is probably only about half of what we originally planned. We've been spending a lot of time as a family, which has been wonderful and amazing and definitely a priority, but just knowing I have a to-do list just nags at me. Anyone else have that problem? I have other things that I'd like to get done as well, like finish organizing the basement and other yard jobs, but if those don't get done this summer, we can wait until the fall when it's cooler :)

Do you have a super long to-do list too? What kinds of things are on your list?

How a little girl is changing our life

A few months ago, the typical conversations and attitudes in our house went something like this:

"Why do we have this house? I want a bigger and better one."

"I want a bigger bedroom!!!"

"I really really want to put an addition on the house!"

"So-and-so has a four wheeler. Why don't I have one?"

"I don't want to eat dinner in. I want to go out to dinner!"

You get the idea. Our society tells us we can have whatever we want whenever we want it. Our kids were picking up on it, and there are times that I would slip into that way of thought as well. Pete and I want to raise children who are thankful and work hard for what they have, so we knew we had to do something to change all of our attitudes.

But what could we do? We had a limited budget, limited free time, and wanted a big impact on our children. That's when we decided to look into sponsoring a child through Compassion International.

For $38 a month, we could help a child get an education, have access to health care, develop social skills, receive Christian training, and help the child grow up to be successful and overcome poverty, all things we take for granted.

$38 isn't much in the grand scheme of things, but with our budget, it was going to be a big stretch. We weren't sure we were going to do it, so we waited and prayed about it.

After a few days, we went back on the website and looked at the children available for sponsorship. There were so many of them, we were completely blown away by the amount. How can you choose a child when there are so many? They had ways to narrow down the search: location, gender, age, birth date, those have been waiting the longest, and have them choose a child for you.

We knew we wanted a young child, someone our kids could relate to, but other than that we had no preference. We finally narrowed our search down to three children: a girl who reminded us of Paige, a boy who looked similar to Nate, and a super adorable little girl. We eventually chose the little boy, but by the time we went to sponsor him, he had already been chosen! We were happy for the boy, but sad because we wanted him. So, we started our search over again.

There was no way I was going to be able to choose just one; I wanted to save all the kids, but of course, there's no way I could do that. Pete sent me an email with another link to a child, and instantly I knew she was the one for us.

Freyle is a sweet little girl from Colombia, and she looks exactly like Miss A, the little girl I babysit, just with hispanic coloring. We sponsored her immediately!

That night, we told the kids what we were doing. We explained how not everyone has a nice home like we do, no running water, food for three meals and snacks, or even a school to attend. They were shocked that about that, and immediately wanted to take action. We began praying for Freyle every day, and the kids started having a better attitude about things. Paige even went through her toys one day, saying that there are other kids who may not have many toys that would enjoy them more than she would.

The kids were thrilled the day we received our first letter from Freyle. Pete was in NYC, and he called immediately to hear what she had to say. We write her letters, and the kids love drawing pictures for her.

Today we received a newsletter in the mail, explaining on what kind of area she lives in. I couldn't make it through the letter without crying, and when I explained it to the kids, they were in shock; Paige had tears in her eyes and said "I really need to change my attitude even more..."

Here are some facts about where Freyle lives:

• The average amount of money a family brings in is $2 per day. We bring in approximately $100 a day when I'm babysitting.
• The average size house is 215 square feet. That fits in our living room...with a little room to spare. This one affected Paige the most as she says we need a bigger house. It also hit me a lot as I'm usually complaining that we need a bigger entryway and would love to put an addition on for a front mudroom.
• The houses have one room. That one affected Nate as he's having a hard time sleeping as his and Ryan's sleep schedules are a little different (Ry's a night owl, Nate's an early riser).
• The houses have grass roofs. Nate thought it was hysterical at first, but then when he saw that that was pretty much the roof, he asked if that meant it leaked when it rained. He didn't think it was funny any more.

Sometimes I see our attitudes slipping; when the kids start getting the "I want" attitude, I just have to gently remind them about how blessed they are, and they calm down. For me, I just have to open our scrapbook we got from Compassion to keep all of our correspondence regarding Freyle and suddenly the things I wanted aren't as important any more. As for the $38 a month that I would be a stretch, we honestly don't even notice that it is missing. Honestly, even if we had to cut back on our budget in other areas, we would in a heart beat. We hope to be able to sponsor another child in the future.


As of today, Freyle is 4 years old. Happy birthday, sweet girl, and may God richly bless you and your family!

Compassion is currently helping 1.2 million children in 26 countries. If you are interested in learning more about them, you can go to their website. They also have ways to help older children go through college, and help mothers and babies. To sponsor a child, you can go here.


How do you keep from getting the "I want" attitude? If you have children, how do you teach them to be thankful for what they have?

It's the little things...

This week has been rough. It was the first week in months that I wasn't working on a super big project with a deadline quickly approaching. The kids were fighting with each other and with us about everything. It was hot and sticky. Paige is on summer vacation and is already bored. I said good bye to baby L and to Miss A (a 2 year old I was babysitting) until next school year, and although I'm going to like having time just with my family, I love those little girls and will miss them terribly. Some relationships I have are strained, and I'm sure most of it is me being self-centered. My house is a disaster; the laundry is backed up, the kitchen counters are MIA, and with potty training Ryan, the house reeks...thankfully I seem to be the only one who can smell it, but that doesn't make breathing any easier for myself.

So with it being Friday night, I'm completely drained. After dinner I was sitting on the couch, frustrated with the world and having a pity party.

That's when my sweet little Ryan comes up to me, looks up at me with those baby blue eyes, and takes my hand.

"Dance wif me? Dance?"

I get up off the couch, and we "dance"; for a 2 year old, that just means walking around in a circle, holding hands, and moving your head to the music...but it was the sweetest thing that I've seen in awhile. When we're done, he gives me a big kiss and a hug, says "Luff you, Mommy", then runs off to play.

It made me realize that although life is hard and stressful, it's so easy to get caught up in it all that I miss a lot of the little things. I could have easily sat and grumbled some more and missed out on dancing with my little boy. Life is passing by too fast, and some day Ryan's not going to want to dance with me, much less hug or kiss me...or even acknowledge my existence. I need to start making my family and the little things more of a priority; I don't know how long I'll have them (forever, please, God!), and I need to take advantage of every opportunity and moment I can get.


How do you balance life and finding time to enjoy those little things? What little things have you experienced this week?

Prioritizing my weekend

I'm just a mess thinking about this weekend and all that is going to happen. Long weekends always throw me off; I always make all these grand and glorious plans, between wanting family time and attempting to get some house projects completed, I'm always over planning and rarely satisfied.

Paigey is off tomorrow through Monday, and that always throws the balance off with the boys. I remember sibling rivalry when I was little, and I always thought that the fights between my brother and I were the battle between life and death. Now as a parent, I just shake my head and think to myself 'Really? Is it REALLY that important?' The boys will play really well together. Paige and Nate play fairly well together. Paige and Ryan play really well together. But put all three of them together? That's a different story. Activities to keep them all stimulated, but not to overstimulate or get them really tired is going to be a must for the weekend!

Pete is off Saturday through Monday, but is actually leaving around 5:30 am tomorrow and returning around 11 pm on Sunday. He's chaperoning his high school's senior trip to NYC this weekend. I'm struggling with it, partly because he gets to go do fun things (like see 'Phantom of the Opera'!) while I stay here with all three kids by myself, but because this will be the longest we'll have been apart from each other since we've gotten married. Trust me, I understand that 3 days and 2 nights is not a big deal, that some people have to spend months away from their spouse, or some parents may not even have someone to help them when kids get crazy. I don't envy them, and my thoughts, prayers, and support go out to them. Be praying for me this weekend while Pete's away; I'm not feeling well (silly allergies), and lift Pete up in prayer too for a safe trip.

Here's what needs to happen:

• Tomorrow I'm babysitting all day, so it has to be an at home project kind of day
• Call my Dad! We always have a weekly phone call on his day off <3
• Saturday morning I'm supposed to go to my aunt's house, weather permitting, to dig up some concrete pavers that she no longer wants and bring them back here to go around some of my garden beds
• Saturday afternoon/evening we have a birthday party to attend for one of my friends from church
• Sunday morning is church and Sunday school
• Monday morning the kids and I are marching in the Paige's school Memorial day parade

And here's what I'd like to get done:

•  Make the tree for our summer Sunday school class; we're doing the fruit of the spirit, and it's going to display the all the lessons on it
• We have rocks lining one side of our driveway, and they are in dire need of weeding. The plan is to actually take the rocks out, dig up the weeds, lay down plastic, then put the rocks back. It's going to be a lot of work to do that, but it's easier then trying to weed them weekly, and I've tried spraying the weeds before, but it's costly to go that route. I'd like to even just get a section of it done, and may attempt that tomorrow if baby L takes a good morning nap while it's still cool.
• A good cleaning of the house. It's picked up, but it's Dirty. 
• Try to work in the basement a little. Between babysitting so much and home schooling Nate, things were getting pulled out and not getting put back away. We're going to be attempting to move our old couch into the finished side and start turning the play room into a family room, but we can't move the couch off the deck until I clear space for us to bring it in. We just picked up our foosball/air hockey/ping pong table from our neighbor's last night, so things are progressing!
• Work on my never ending list of projects: favicon for RV, drawing for Sarah, finish my handmade item for Nicky, work on VBS decoration plans, work on baby shower things for my sister-in-law's shower that I'm hosting in a couple weeks, start planning my second organizational seminar for church
• Sleep! Or maybe that should be on the need list? Hmmm...
• Take the kids to the park for at least one picnic
• Stay up late with the kids watching a movie in a blanket fort while eating our fill of ice cream
• Do a photo shoot of the kids as a Father's day gift for Pete; what better time to do it than when he's not here?

What am I really going to do? As hard as it may be for me, I'm going to go with the flow and not stress about things. I need to spend as much time with my kids as I can; I'm realizing these moments aren't lasting forever, and I need to make the most of them now rather then look back in regret later. The weeds will be there later, the mess can stay messy for now. Someday (which is coming sooner than I'd like), the kids aren't going to want to build a fort with mom, much less acknowledge that I'm their mom. Who knows when I may get my last chance to hold one of my kids as they fall asleep in my arms, or visit the local park and watch them play. I see a fort, ice cream, and the park in our very near future. And a camera, because I want to document these moments as much as possible.

So this weekend, I'm encouraging you all to relax a little and have fun with your kids. If you don't have children, take a few moments to enjoy the little things in life, whether it be the sound of a rain shower, the smell of a rose, or savoring a good cup of coffee. You will never get these moments back, so cherish them; I promise you, you won't be sorry :)